Sound of mind

How awful this life. I mean everything's changing. From people, environment, and other things. Isn't that obvious that I just missed everything? I missed my friends, missed my parents, missed my old life in spite of a lot of troubles and fighting that I've been through . Yeah well, I met a lot of new awesome people but still, everything not same as before. I'm just afraid that I can't adapt to this new situation and haunted by my past, leaving me lonely all of by myself. I knew that I'm always like this, being alone and not really attached to the people. But deep in my heart, I also don't want to be like that. I want to be a cheerful girl that I'm supposed to be, be the brighter one, making a lot of new friends, experiencing new things (positive things), active in club or some organizations, being a brave girl, smart, and one important thing is I want to be able to speculating nor speak one's mind also make a better change in my life-without changing the fact that I also like being alone (I need my-self-time). And I want my spirit's back. I don't want this laziness. I want to be motivated, hard-worker that I used to be. So I can back to focus to my main destination. To achieve what supposed to be mine (my goals), to be better, and maybe a little to bring my whole world back (well, just the good ones). Just to know, I don't want nor like to be beaten. Yes